Cell Phones and Cow Piss Don't Mix

I went out for a walk with my son, Ray, yesterday. It was gray, windy day and snow was probably falling higher up in the mountains. We found an old frisbee next to a vending machine, threw it around for awhile, and then threw some yen into the machine. Ray went for Calpis Water, while I went for a hot can of tea. Calpis is a popular drink in Japan, comes in plain and carbonated versions and is also mixed with shochu to make a chu-hai cocktail. The Japanese pronunciation of calpis is karupisu. Say it fast and is sounds like cow piss. Calpis doesn't get any respect from speakers of English even if it is does contain a healthy dose of calcium and helps lower blood pressure.

We started for home and took a short cut through some fallow rice fields. Ray had half of his calpis left and brought the can along. Just as we climbed out of the rice fields onto a dirt road, Ray said his was getting sleepy and asked me to carry him. I picked him up and he fell asleep clutching the can of calpis. We went through the bamboo forest and through some more rice fields to the entrance to our subdivision. Ray suddenly dropped the calpis. Not much was spilled, so I picked up the can and headed up the hill. I had to detour around by the park to pick up his scooter. We had parked it near a fence when we had started the walk. I woke up Ray, got him to stand on the scooter, put the calpis in my jacket pocket and figured I'd push Ray on the scooter for awhile until he came to full consciousness.

When I bent over to push Ray, the can of calpis shifted and spilled. I grabbed for the can and realized my cell phone was in the same pocket and swimming in a lactic-acid marinade. I pulled the phone out as quickly as possible and the video screen fragmented into horizontal lines and went blank before my eyes. The commotion woke Ray up. He observed that my pants were wet and scootered home by himself as I followed, dangling the phone in the air in the hopes of drying it out. Alas, the phone was dead and the next day I went down to the AU store for a replacement.